Vikander is absurdly gorgeous, so if you want to watch a muscular young beauty running around in a sweat-soaked camisole, you’ll get your money’s worth from Tomb Raider. What’s worse is that Lara’s incompetence is her only distinctive characteristic. Are there really so many proficient big-screen action heroines out there that we now need one who is rubbish at everything? But it isn’t much fun to watch her obeying other people’s instructions, relying on other people to rescue her, and responding to danger with screams and yelps rather than snappy one-liners.
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I also understand that this depiction is true to the game that relaunched the series in 2013. I appreciate that the Lara in this film is still a trainee tomb raider, so she has an excuse for not being the hyper-confident bad-ass played by Jolie.
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In Hong Kong, she wanders around a harbour, bleating, “Excuse me, do you speak English?” She is saved from three muggers by a shotgun-toting sailor (Daniel Wu), and he immediately cracks a code that had baffled her. And when her adventures eventually get underway, she is less like James Bond than Inspector Clouseau. She then goes on a bike race around the city, a race she concludes by crashing into a police car. We first see her in an East London gym, where she loses a kick-boxing match. But, despite the fact that people keep saying how amazingly gifted Lara is, she is so useless that you end up wondering if they are being sarcastic. But the game’s designers liked to point out that Lara’s IQ was even more stellar than her physical attributes, and by the time Angelina Jolie played her in two films, in 20, they could just about get away with calling her a feminist role model.įourteen years on, you might assume that she would be even more capable, and the casting of Alicia Vikander, a multi-lingual Oscar-winning Swedish actress, was certainly encouraging. The media focused on her rugby ball-shaped breasts, and a waist so minuscule she could have worn a wristwatch around it. When the character made her video-game debut in 1996, she was marketed as a cyber sex symbol. If you answered (a), then congratulations, you are officially cleverer than Lara Croft, the dim-witted and generally inept heroine of Tomb Raider. (b) leap onto the ladder yourself, thus ensuring that you’re just as likely to plummet to your doom as he is? (a) shake the ladder, thus ensuring that he plunges to his well-deserved doom? Or do you. How do you stop him reaching the other side? Do you. Your evil arch-enemy is crossing a canyon on a thin, wobbly metal ladder which has been laid across the gap.
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